Dream Big

I've been saying these words for a while now, but I think it is just barely starting to set in: I am almost done with my time here in Colombia.  In fact, I just booked my one-way ticket back to the states for May 1st.  Wowie.

On one hand, I am so excited for what's to come:  I will be spending June and July in the Mississippi Delta as a School Director with TFA's Summer Institute.  Amazing.  The Delta is just about as foreign to me as Colombia was and I cannot wait to fully immerse myself in this new world.  I've already met some of my incredible school team and am honored to be surrounded by energetic, passionate, talented people this summer.

After the Delta adventure, I will be returning to my home town of Denver, Colorado to be starting as an Assistant Principal with Lake middle school, which is part of the West Denver Prep charter network.  As many of you know, this opportunity is practically a dream come true and I could not be more grateful and excited to begin this work.

On the other hand, I am sad beyond words to be leaving Colombia.  Colombia represents a dream come true for me.  The dream, for many years of my life, was to live in a Latin American country, not as a tourist, but as somebody who pays bills and rent there, works there, goes to the gym there, shops locally, establishes friends there, learns the city by heart, becomes fluent in Spanish there, experiences the good, the bad and the ugly of living there...and this past year in Colombia has given me that dream.  These days, I get teary-eyed almost every time I think about my year here and how sad I am that it is almost over.

Speaking of dreams...I've decided that it is worth it to dream.  And to dream really, really big.  In fact, I think it is the process of dreaming and scheming that keeps me fully alive as a human.  I think that many of us- and I too have experienced this temptation- cut this process off at the fear of failing to realize our dreams.  I'm ok with the reality that not all dreams come true.  I recently told my friend, Melissa that if I actually do 30% of the things I dream about and say I want to do, that will be a damn good life.

There are so many things that I wanted to do in Colombia that I just won't be able to do, and that's ok.  In the wise words of Dr. Seuss, "don't cry because it's over.  Smile because it happened." I'm not going to dwell on the things I didn't do; instead I'm going to live with a grateful heart in regards to the beautiful people I've met, the love I've experienced, the adventures I've had, the memories that are now a part of my story.

That's all I've got right now; a message of gratitude, sadness, sentiment, excitement and hope for what's to come.  And to just say, dream big, friends.  It will be worth it, I promise.

Libérenlos Ya

Just days before I arrived for a mini-vacation in Villavicencio, Colombia, ten hostages were released from captivity by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) and were welcomed home at Villavicencio’s airport.  These hostages are police officials and soldiers; some had been held captive for as long as 14 years.  14 years.  This amount of time in captivity is as incomprehensible to me today as it was when I learned the details of these kidnappings during Colombia’s annual march in December to protest the FARC.

The march was an emotional and powerful day that I remember clearly. We started a few blocks south of my apartment on la septima (a main highway road) and congregated in the financial district, shaded from the unusually sunny day by tall office buildings.  Many people had tears in their eyes as their voices joined the chants of support: “Secuestrado, amigo, Colombia está contigo” (kidnapped, friend, Colombia is with you), “Libérenlos ya” (free them now), “No mas FARC” (no more FARC) and “Libertad” (freedom).  People were holding hands, standing arm in arm, holding each other in support as they cried out these words. Employees inside the office buildings waved from windows with white balloons and flags and scattered white paper down on us like snowflakes.

I noticed a police officer patrolling the median, there to keep the peace (even though it was clearly a peaceful protest), mouthing the chants in unison with the crowd and waving a white flag.  I asked for a photo. 

 Many people were holding signs with pictures of the soldiers and police officials who had been kidnapped, with the number of years that they had been held hostage – ranging from 7 to 14 years.

Four months later, the men on these posters have been released.  My eyes welled up as I watched the video of these men getting off the plane as free men for the first time in years – one man wrapped in a Colombian flag, another in the arms of his family, another requiring assistance to walk.

While this release is, without doubt, a step in the right direction and potentially a sign of a weakening FARC, there are still an estimated 700 civilians held captive by the FARC. Before coming to Colombia, the violent history of the FARC was something I had learned about from the news and textbooks.  Yet on the day of the march, I felt that I belonged to the crowd and to the cause. We were united in spirit and in numbers and I was overwhelmed by the pride and sadness that permeated the streets.

It seems that Colombia is experiencing these same things upon the release of these soldiers; although faced with the tragedy of the past and present reality, there is a palpable sense of pride in their country and hope for a peaceful future. This hope and pride defines the Colombians I have met in my time here.  It IS the majority voice, not the minority.  I am humbled to be one more voice demanding libertad for Colombia.

 

An Update

 
I have taken a major hiatus from posting on my blog.  In fact, it was Christmas Day when I last posted.



It's not that I haven't been writing- it's that my reflections have been a bit too personal and "stream of consciousness" in nature to post on the World Wide Web.  January and February have been marked by a certain sense of unrest and a deep pondering of questions such as:

o      What's next? Where will I be next year?

o      What job will I find fulfilling rather than what will make me "happy?"

o      How can I remain present throughout my last months in Colombia and "make it count?" 

In light of contemplating the above questions, I have the following updates to share:



-I am thankful and excited to say that I have accepted a School Director position at Teach For America's summer Institute in the Mississippi Delta!  Woah!  After having worked with another of TFA’s rural regions, the Rio Grande Valley in McAllen, Texas, I could not be more pumped to spend June and July in this rural, high-need and dynamic region.  


-This means that I will be most likely be headed back to the states permanently around the first of May.  This has always been "the plan” according to my visa, my apartment lease and my budget, but actually having something tangible to return to has put things in a new perspective.  When I think of returning, I am often struck with a complex sense of sadness, fear and excitement.


-As for full-time prospects, I’m in the process of interviewing for teaching and school leadership positions with schools in Colorado and with Teach For America.  It is probably most likely that I’ll end up in Colorado, but I am open to a lot of things right now, namely, the possibility of staying in Colombia.  I have a grand total of zero job prospects or ideas in Colombia at the moment, but hey, I’m open.  And life has taught me that crazy opportunities sometimes present themselves when you simply remain open. 


-I started teaching English classes a couple of times a week!  I’m hired through a language school that works primarily with oil and gas companies here in Bogotá, so I meet my clients at their offices.  It’s been super fun and rewarding to see my students’ enthusiasm and progress and to start to get to know them better.  My work with my students inspires me to keep plugging away at my ever-so-persistent weaknesses when it comes to Spanish.


-I’m in the analysis and writing stage of my research project on the peace education program, Aulas en Paz.  I’m taking the rest of my time to visit and observe other peace education models in action, as well as pursue continued involvement in Rotary Clubs here in Bogotá.  

I have the feeling that I might be opening up a “blog floodgate” with this post and I actually hope this to be true.  In the meantime, I wanted to share some of the twists and turns of my life presently in Colombia and the shape of my future plans.  Thank you for reading, for caring and for rooting for me:) Onward and upward, friends.

Say Hi First - A Theoretical Framework

 Some of you may have seen me get into “research mode.”  That is, the obsession with developing hypotheses and research questions about daily life – particularly social life – establishing control groups and experimental groups complete with independent/dependent variables, ensuring uncontaminated and truly randomly selected sample sizes, and then going out into the world to test the hypothesis all with the ultimate goal of simply learning more about my surroundings.  While I am a dreamer, pacifist and lover at heart, I am a researcher, investigator and explorer by nature – and really, these things can and should coexist quite well. Because my primary job here in Colombia is to do research, I tend to be in ‘research mode’ often.

A “research question” that has been brought to my attention on a daily basis since arriving in Colombia goes something like this:

What happens in Colombia when a blonde-haired, green-eyed, gringa-looking female…

…walks into a busy grocery store? 

…hops aboard a bus full of people?

…enters a classroom of 40 squirrelly 6^th graders at the school I’m conducting research and begins speaking Spanish with an American accent?

 …orders an arepa con queso on the street corner?

…makes a comment in her class at los Andes to an audience of 100-something Colombian students?

…walks down the street- any street will do- filled with pedestrians, cars, buses and taxis? 

The partial answer to most of these questions is this:  I get lots of stares.

While I am aware of peoples’ reactions, it doesn’t usually make me feel self-conscious or uncomfortable.  In fact, most days I find these responses endearing and interesting. 

But I’d like to hone in on one sample size in particular: men.  This group of onlookers and intense-gazers has led me to develop research question #2 (nerd alert):

Does her (‘her’ defined as formerly stated blonde girl) reaction (independent variable) to these reactions (constant; ‘reactions’ range from fixed gazes, or stares, to comments including, but not limited to, “princesa”, “mona”, “reina” and in some cases, “hissing” sounds uttered between the teeth as though calling for an animal) influence future reactions (dependent variable)?

The answer that I’ve found so far is: yes. My reaction to these stares does indeed make a difference.

My natural inclination in situations when I’m being stared at by men is to keep my eyes straight ahead, chin slightly up, and a stern, but not unnecessarily snooty expression on my face.  The accompanying internal monologue goes something to the effect of, “I don’t care if he honks his horn or yells from his scaffolding tower all day, I’m not acknowledging a single damn thing.”  However, as it turns out in my experience, the “ice queen strategy” (also known as the “ignore, ignore, ignore strategy”) seems to egg on even more attention – like it becomes a challenge of sorts, to try to elicit some sort of reaction out of me.  This observation caused me to try a different approach.

Here’s the strategy that has proven to diffuse 90% of all “staring situations” so that they do not escalate to prolonged stares, comments or unwanted attention (drum roll please….): say hi first.  Yep, this is what 4 months of diligent social research has yielded and I’m not at all disappointed.  It works beautifully!  I’ve been blown away at how a simple smile and “buenas tardes” completely turns the table and gets the ball back in my court.  More often than not, this strategy is reciprocated with a smile and “buenas tardes” in return and we both go on our merry way. 

There was one situation in particular where I tested the crap out of this theory: when my sister and I found ourselves a bit lost in a completely dodgy part of Santa Marta -our earthly possessions bulging from the packs on our back- desperately searching for the bus that would whisk us away to Tayrona National Park. Talk about stares, comments and feeling uncomfortable.  Nonetheless, a confident smile or wave and friendly “buenas tardes” went a long way in diffusing some of these dicey encounters.  My sister yelled at me for waving at creepy people and that’s when I explained to her my developing theory.

Perhaps it’s the way that speaking and smiling makes a person appear more human to others (“ah, the gringa speaks!”); perhaps my American accent or the “buenas tardes” confirms what they were wondering in the first place and puts everyone at ease; or perhaps people are indeed more friendly and less hostile than we (I) sometimes give them credit. 

It should be noted that the “say hi first” strategy applies to all people, not just men in Colombia, and not just to diffuse seedy situations.  I think it should become a habit to “say hi first” when checking out at the grocery store, for instance, or asking for cell phone credit at the Comcel store.  Fortunately, Colombians are quite adept at giving a proper greeting and farewell to perfect strangers; they really are some of the most genuinely friendly people on this planet.  After all, I think I learned the “ice queen strategy” from living in big cities in the US – people there can be pretty cold sometimes.  And it’s no coincidence that the “say hi first” strategy started to develop in this country full of warm people.  So, in true academic best practice, allow me to credit my source of inspiration behind this research design: Colombia et al, (2011): your constant stares caused me to re-think my cold reaction and your constant warmth and friendliness taught me to try a new approach and say hi first. 

Let’s remember that this theory has only been tested in the country of Colombia.  I urge any international readers to “say hi first” at every chance you get and see how it changes your daily interactions.  Just do it – say hi first.

A tangible way to give Light & Life to the kids at the Hogar

our diligent & happy photography students

I have been humbled by the generous reactions of empathy, love and support from those who have read about my experience serving at the Hogar.  Many of you have asked how you can help and get involved.  Let me be the first to state the obvious that the Hogar and the partnering school are always in need of volunteers with big hearts and willing spirits to come serve, so please reach out if you have interest in traveling to Bogotá to come to the source!  Also, be sure to check out this video that perfectly documents the pure love from which all of Sister Valeriana’s actions stem from.   Secondly, the visionary thinking of my dear friend Susan, who traveled with the team from Los Angeles to serve at the Hogar, has provided us all with a tangible way to support the mission of the Hogar.  I’d like to share her vision with you.

First, the details:

From Susan’s Facebook post:

We went to help at an orphanage for kids with disabilities this summer in Bogotá Colombia, and fell in love! We wish we could invite all the kids to visit Los Angeles and experience Disneyland, but that is not possible.

What is possible, with your help, is to provide this opportunity for 4 kids & a chaperone. We asked the orphanage and have been given the enthusiastic green light. We just don't have the money to pay for the passports and visas and plane fares. Any amount would help!! If you live in Los Angeles, we'd love to invite you to join us and meet the kids when they come!

Would you help us raise the money? Please. We are posting the address of The Light and Life Foundation where you can send your donation, and receive a tax deduction. In the memo line please note "TRIP TO LOS ANGELES".

Light and Life Foundation
PO Box 356
Fairfield, CT
06824

NOTE: Susan is in the process of setting up a paypal account to expedite donations, but in the meantime, don’t be shy – dust off those stamps you know you have somewhere and go snail mail! 

The back-story:

Susan & Nixa creating art together

All of our lives were deeply touched by our week at the Hogar in July.  One lovely girl in particular, Nixa had an especially profound impact on Susan’s heart.  Susan undertook the gargantuan task of painting 3 murals on the walls of the Hogar (which she pulled off with admirable enthusiasm and grace).  During her painting project, she recruited the help of the Hogar kids, one of whom was Nixa – a girl with Epidermolysis Bullosa (EB), a rare tissue disease that makes the skin extremely fragile and results in blisters and mucous membranes on the body.  Nixa as a result does not have fingers, but that sure didn’t stop her from painting the mural! 

As Susan was preparing to return to LA and saying her goodbyes, Nixa asked her, "Can you take me home with you?" This frank and sincere question planted the idea in Susan’s head.  When Susan got home she began to meditate on the idea of an “orphans holiday” at her place in Los Angeles.  She figured, she doesn’t live far from Disneyland and she's already got an “in” with Disney (thanks to our Imagineer, Dolce!).  Plus, the kids clearly have a fascination with Disney, as evidenced by their constant request that we sing Disney songs in English! Susan got in touch with Sister Valeriana who responded with an enthusiastic green light as well as the names of four kids from the Hogar who she has selected to participate.  The actualization of this trip will be a mutual dream come true for both the kids who get to travel to California and for the LA folks whose lives have been forever impressed by these kids. 

I personally was tickled pink to learn that my little amiga, Heidy is one of the four to be going on the trip!  It makes me smile every time I think about her tearing it up at Disneyland and splashing around in the Pacific ocean. :)  Sadly, Nixa (the inspiration behind this idea) will not be able to come.  Along with severe health issues being too much of an obstacle, she can’t apply for a passport because fingerprints are a required part of the application.

Susan and friends are still fleshing out the details, and we'll keep you updated as things progress.  In the meantime, please consider supporting the mission of Luz y Vida (light and life) in this meaningful way.  Thank you! 

Susan gets by with a little help from her friends!

Nixa, la artista

New Surroundings

After almost 2 months of being stubborn and confused on the issue, I woke up this morning and decided to start a blog.  I am living in  Bogotá, Colombia for a year and I really want to share this time and experience with you.  Without further ado, here are some snap shots of my time in Bogota, Colombia thus far!

      New Surroundings

It’s hard to believe that Bogotá has been my new home now for 2 months this week!   

It was kind of a process finding an apartment here…after negotiating my way out of a one-year minimum contract and the need for 2 local cosigners (psssh, yeah right!), I finally landed on a beautiful, furnished apartment in a great neighborhood.  I learned that Bogotá is divided up into estratos, or zones, from 1 – 6, 1 being the poorest and 6 being the wealthiest.  While this system says a lot about class division in Colombia (that’s another story), it was really helpful criteria to know when looking for a good neighborhood.  I live in estrato 5 and really wouldn’t have gone below a 5 since I’m living alone!  I was astonished at the difference between a 4 and 5!  I’m very happy with the apartment and feel I got so lucky. There is a wonderful grocery store down the street, plenty of beautiful, safe parks nearby and I’m also just a couple blocks from Zona Rosa and Zona T, which house most of Bogotá’s night scene and fabulous shopping.  

Park right next to my apartment

It seems that no update would be complete without some sort of commentary on the climate and weather - helps to really paint that picture or something. Well, to be honest, the climate is perhaps the one thing I would change about living here…it’s kind of cold for this California girl!  It probably averages about 63 degrees and rains at least a little bit each day.  Some days more than others.  But the sun also usually comes out at least a little bit each day and again, some days more than others. Plus, there is quite a pollution and traffic problem here too so it just makes things grayer.  I’m almost positive (and actually this observation is backed by research) that Sundays here in Bogotá are the sunniest days of the week and here’s why: every Sunday, Bogotá (and many cities in Colombia) close off major freeways to traffic from 7 am to 2 pm for bikers, walkers and runners.  They call it the Ciclovia and it’s seriously awesome.  Every Sunday that I’ve been in town, I’ve gone for a long run on the Ciclovia (which runs right next to my apartment) in the good company of hundreds of active Colombians. 

So far, I’ve taken two weeks of Spanish classes at a school called Nueva Lengua and it’s been a fantastic experience.  Classes are from 9 – 12 every day and many afternoons, they offer “cultural activities”; my favorite of these activities, of course, are the dance classes with Oscar every Thursday. :) The students are literally from all over the world; my class consists of a German guy, a Korean guy, a French, guy, a Swiss guy and me!  It’s a really diverse group of people and they are all a blast to hang out with. 

My Spanish is progressing somewhat steadily, but I can get so impatient when it comes to learning new things! I’m like, “Vamos, brain! Learn faster!” I have never had to rely so heavily on Spanish in my life.  It really is essential here.  The tour books will say that many young people speak English here and that many areas in the North are full of gringos.  I have not found these statements to be true at all!  I came across one woman at the gym yesterday who spoke English well.  I asked her, “How’s the stretching class?” in Spanish and she replied in English.  I was so surprised that I asked her where she was from and she said, “Colombia.”  Haha.   Pardon my assumptions.  As far as gringos go, I don’t really see them except at my Spanish school (and when I look in the mirror), and certainly not on a daily basis.   I did, however learn about “Gringo Tuesdays” hosted weekly at a club in Zona T.  Don’t get me wrong; I am NOT disappointed in the slightest about the scarcity of English or gringos.  Quite the opposite actually- the point of traveling to a new country as far as I’m concerned is to speak new languages, meet unfamiliar people and to embrace and grow from that feeling of being “displaced.”  That said, I've already frequented "Gringo Tuesday" with my friend Natalia. :)